Revolving Doors

image borrowed

I'm home with my parent's this weekend for the big move -- a departure from the only house I've ever called home. This is the house that welcomed me home from the hospital and housed me for 25 restless Christmas Eve night sleeps. It now holds a million things that require decision: give away, donate, keep, move. More than the material, this house is a reminder of the friends that filled it, the misadventures that occurred in the backyard and cul-de-sac and the meals enjoyed around the kitchen table. Nonetheless, I will help my parents and together we will leave it behind... just another cog in the wheel that keeps bringing change.

And this transition is well-timed with my personal upheaval. I, too, am on the brink of new things. As one chapter of my little life closes, I move on from a job and an existence I've known for nearly two years. One marked by leisurely mornings spent walking my neighborhood streets, Ira's voice drumming softly in my ear. One that allowed time for cooking and reading and crafting. One that afforded me the time and freedom to travel and discover new things about the art that I'm learning.

With this season ending, come a thousand little goodbyes. Not only am I seeing the end of my actual previous existence, but the hope of several that I imagined in the future for myself. For now, with pain and heartache, I realize, New York is a no-go. The same for the plan B idea I had to return to Georgia and re-carve out life there. Also extinguished is the short-lived but so-fun idea of moving to North Carolina to find work in the printing industry. The last several months have been filled with sparks of interest in every direction. Without realizing it, I put stock in every new one, and now, slowly, I have to let the idea of each fade. I have to re-acclimate to the idea of staying where I am, letting the adventure exist partly in the streets, people, and culture I already know. I pray to find the joy of that without succumbing to the ease, comfort and complacency that sometimes accompany lingering.

When Moses led the Israelites away from Egypt, he knew where he was taking them. They were not just leaving from an old way of life, they were going to a new one. And, I'm certain the Lord has used the last two years of my life to prepare me for where He intends for me to tread, even on familiar streets.