An opportunity

I've not had much reason to write here lately. A whole lot of contemplation, but without the fruits that have made it all that worthy to share. But, I'm feeling reflective this morning, remembering the ways that this blog has helped me to grab a hold of some truths that I've been fearful to look in the face. There's something about wrestling to put words to things that makes them confront-able.

The reality is that this summer will mark the two year anniversary of when (what I sometimes consider) my "real job" came to an end. My college education and the beginning of my "career' were halted and for almost two whole years since then, I've been working a silly, but fun job while learning letterpress, printing and trying to figure out my next step. It's been an adventure, and at most times, thrilling. In moments of forgotten trust in Providence, it's also been frustrating, stressful and terrifying.

I've encountered financial setbacks, and lost opportunities. I've applied to jobs, internships, residencies closeby and far away. I've teeter-tottered back and forth about moving to learn the art of letterpress from others versus staying put, getting higher paying-work and saving up towards the end of getting my own equipment to be able to learn the hard way. I've wondered what it is I really want to do, and if I have the courage to actually swallow the fear of my inadequacies and just do it.

The truth is I'm a quarter of a century old, and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life.

I come again to a cross roads where I have the choice to either cower at the unknown or rise up to challenge and beauty of the Great Perhaps. I pray for the sunny outlook I once had, the "everything to look forward to, and nothing to dread days."

I'm in a position to see the Lord not only change my external circumstances, but to see Him do something dynamic within my heart. I'm asking for wisdom, for courage, for clarity. I'm wanting to see the adventure in whatever befalls.

I remember seeing an advertisement years ago in a magazine. It was for a paint company of some sort, and pictured a couple standing in an empty white-walled room. The girl looked bright-eyed, the fella a little overwhelmed. The ad stated that when some people find themselves with a blank slate, it's daunting. For others, it's unlimited opportunity.

With supernatural assistance, I choose to see possibility in this present uncertainty.